USA vs. Canada: Final score 0-0, Here are all the things we would rather have done than watch

Hunter Martin

There are a million things we would have rather done than watch the U.S. play Canada to an awful 0-0 draw.

That was the worst thing that has ever happened on a soccer field. Tony Pulis is absolutely appalled at the display that the United States and Canada put on. It ended 0-0, or in the eyes of those who watched, -500 - -500.

Here is a list of things that are been better than watching that match was, as compiled by Ryan Rosenblatt, Kevin McCauley, Zach Woosley and Brian Floyd:

  • Being the victim of this.
  • Re-organizing our DVD collection alphabetically by director
  • Watching the video of the birth of someone else's child
  • Nickelback
  • Counting blades of grass
  • Being Arsene Wenger's water bottle
  • Gigli
  • Reading textbooks about information systems
  • The Big Bang Theory
  • Undergoing a prostate exam
  • Watching a looped tape of someone scratching a chalkboard
  • Spending an evening with Luis Suarez
  • Drafting Michael Olowokandi
  • Spiders
  • Watching the third Matrix
  • Nickelback
  • Reading Skip Bayless' Twitter
  • Bathing a dog after it rolled around in another dog's crap
  • Watching a theoretical match where Stevenage get in a time machine and play the 2010 Colorado Rapids
  • Rick Reilly hosted Sportscenter
  • Listening to Roseanne Barr sing the national anthem
  • Listening to Carl Lewis sing the national anthem
  • Watching the NIU basketball team play lightning
  • Nickelback
  • Having a dream where you're Ethan Hawke's character in Training Day.
  • Watching Sandea Lee cook
  • The Jaguars
  • The Chiefs
  • Writing a dissertation on Ben Howland's substitution patterns.
  • Nickelback
  • Being Taylor Swift's ex-boyfriend

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