Are you ready? Probably not.
Even if the U.S. isn't playing a match and it's Jurgen Klinsmann, Sunil Gulati and a bunch of other old dudes in suits instead of 11 youngin's in kits, this is still as much a part of the World Cup as any other and the World Cup is code for "panic until you pee your pants." If you're panicking about the draw, you're doing it right.
You're also doing it right if you're not at work or school today. If you have played hooky and are sitting on your couch or in a pub, drinking to numb your feelings and praying to your favorite god that things will turn out as well as they did in 2010. It's what every good American will be doing today.
How bad can things get for the U.S.? Consider that this is a possible group:
If it plays out like that, you have my permission to cry.
Unfortunately, it won't take a freak bad draw like the one above for the U.S. to face an uphill battle to get out of the group stage. Even the "okay" and "fair" draw presents the Americans with a serious challenge.
All things considered, this wouldn't be a bad draw:
When that's an alright draw, you're probably going to be in trouble. The U.S. is probably going to be in trouble.
But it's not all doom and gloom. Four years ago, the draw was exceptionally kind to the Americans and it might choose to smile upon the Stars and Stripes once again.
The U.S. could get a draw as easy as this:
If you have any confetti, fireworks or champagne, they would be appropriate with this draw.
But as the draw nears, all we know is that the U.S. will not be grouped with about CONCACAF team or an Asian team. That's it, and that's too bad.
The draw is a fickle mistress. Pray to the deity of your choice -- bacon is the official god of the United States -- that she treats the Americans well.