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I should have known something was wrong the moment I woke up and saw that they announced the roster at 8:30 AM Eastern Time on a Sunday. You don’t announce a roster before the majority of the country wakes up unless you know everyone is going to hate it.
Bruce Arena said that the U.S. didn’t have the luxury of bringing in new faces with two games left in the Hex. He did make some changes, mixing things up by giving surprising returns to Benny Feilhaber and Juan Agudelo. And he also brought along Chris Wondolowski, Gyasi Zardes, and Michael “Why, God, Why” Orozco (UPDATE: Gyasi Zardes has now withdrawn from the team due to a groin strain). I think I’ve made my feelings on those last three players fairly clear on the Internet by now, so instead of a rant about those guys, here’s a comprehensive list of the players I’d rather see in U.S. colors for two do-or-die games with the World Cup at stake:
-Dom Dwyer
-Space Jam-era Bill Murray
-Eddie Pope, right now
-Frankie Hejduk’s collection of knit hats with the ear flaps on them
-Rico Clark
-Marcel Balboa’s mullet-mustache combo
"I was always taught as a kid if you do something, do it right.
— Soccer Coaching Pro (@SoccerCoaching2) September 24, 2017
If not, go do something else.
For me, soccer was life"
- Marcelo Balboa pic.twitter.com/UGDFygWNiW
-Rafa Marquez
-Mix Diskerud
-Taylor Twellman’s wardrobe
-One of those life-size wall stickers of Shaquille O’Neal
-Ted Westervelt
-The Ghost of Stuart Holden’s Knees Past
-One of Oguchi Onyewu’s pectoral muscles
-The entire BeIN Sports broadcast team
Boiling Points
- Bayern dropping Carlo Ancelotti faster than week-old schnitzel - Happy trails, Carlo. I’m sure there’s some other stupidly rich club waiting for you to win them a couple trophies.
- How good PSG’s attack actually is -
That gorgeous Mbappe flick
— Goal (@goal) September 30, 2017
That clever Neymar through ball
That superb Cavani finish
PSG's forwards are looking fierce! pic.twitter.com/40CXbpM0X9
I know I make fun of their defense, but that’s just disgusting. And it wasn’t even the best goal on the day. That belonged to Julian Draxler.
Magnificent football from Julian Draxler and PSG!
— Goal (@goal) September 30, 2017
This is a European goal of the month contender, for sure - amazing run, amazing finish. pic.twitter.com/601ldWS0UV
- The off-chance Gyasi Zardes might not be able to make these games -
In light of Gyasi Zardes' groin strain, I'm told #lagalaxy & #usmnt staffs are trying to determine if Zardes will even join up w/the US.
— Jeff Carlisle (@JeffreyCarlisle) October 1, 2017
A dream is a wish your heart makes.
- Marta still being this good -
Skill level: Marta.#NCvORL pic.twitter.com/68phJjiAmM
— NWSL (@NWSL) October 1, 2017
- Sergio Ramos giving his best Keylor Navas impression -
Great save from Sergio Ramos!#BVBRMA #UCL pic.twitter.com/euN63KnBqm
— fuboTV (@fuboTV) September 26, 2017
Real Madrid went on to win 3-1, after Dortmund had a tying goal wrongly called back for offside against Tottenham, a game which also ended up 3-1 against Dortmund. Oh, and it looks like Bayern Munich will probably get Thomas Tuchel to be their next head coach. It’s been a rough couple week for the boys in yellow.