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The Weekly Rekrap: Aren’t we all just looking for love?

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At Stars and Stripes FC, joke make you

Portugal v Morocco: Group B - 2018 FIFA World Cup Russia Photo by Maddie Meyer/Getty Images

Remember when it seemed weird that you would would be watching the World Cup and the US wouldn’t be playing? Somehow that seems less weird than I thought it would be. After a week, the tournament has really delivered on just about every level except for the Fox broadcast. SET. PIECES. Anyway, it’s been a good time and let’s keep hoping that it is so entertaining that we forget that the US failed so bad at qualifying for the tournament that the coach felt the need to write about about why it’s not his fault - as the second set of group stage matches get underway.

Anyway, onto the Rekrap...

In Russia, World Cup fix you...

The World Cup is well underway and the best team in the tournament so far has been the European giants of world football - Russia? How could this happen, Russia are terrible, they probably wouldn’t have qualified if they weren’t hosting and yet they’ve managed to beat - Saudi Arabia and Egypt. Ok, yeah, so those are two teams that might be worse than Russia, but still, this seems weird. Luckily Deadspin investigative reporter Drew Magary is on the case to get to the bottom of how this could be happening.

In Russia, cigarette smoke you...

Don’t flip out man...

Iran is a good soccer team, no really they are. The team finished first in the Asian Football Confederation qualifying and say what you want about winning on an own goal, they deserved three points against Morocco. Team Melli found themselves needing a goal against Spain on Wednesday so naturally they looked at Iceland and decided to try a long throw in - but apparently they also looked at high school soccer because they decided to try a somersault throw-in, it went badly.

You may be familiar with units, but have you ever thought deeply about what it is that makes one an Absolute Unit?

Over on the big blog, Nate Scott has a look at some of the heftier fellows in the World Cup - the Absolute Units. Most may not be stars and end up doing the ugly jobs like tripping Messi and run like they are mad at the ground. It’s a perfect article and somehow he managed to write the whole thing without using the phrase thicc.

The Concacaf Ladrones strike again...

Referees are probably often unfairly demonized by soccer fans, OK, not always and not probably, but sometimes. The World Cup has been shockingly well officiated and VAR has been well implemented in the tournament so far. There’s still time for it to be horribly botched in a meaningful elimination game, but for now it’s going all right. One ref apparently got a little too into the World Cup spirit though and shockingly enough it’s Mr. Concacaf Ladrones himself, Mark Geiger. Apparently, a Morocco player is accusing Geiger of wanting to get a jersey from Portuguese star Pepe? So far there hasn’t been any word on if this actually happened, which seems totally unlikely as Geiger is perfectly able to ruin a match without getting anything in return for it, but it would certainly give pundits the biggest case of the vapors so far this World Cup. I for one agree with this random person on Twitter about the whole thing:

Not sure how he comes back from this one...

All is not well in New Zealand where the Football Ferns have led a mutiny against their coach Andreas Heraf. 13 players for the New Zealand Women’s National Team have come out saying that they won’t play for Heraf including captain and NC Courage center back Abby Erceg. This is just the latest in a long line of woso teams asserting their influence over situations they don’t agree with from countries ranging from Argentina, to Nigeria, to Colombia, to Denmark, to Spain, to Australia, to - well, let’s just say that patriarchy isn’t just an isolated problem.

Throw another replay on the barbie...

Speaking of referees, in America, MLS fans have been conditioned to dread and hate video replay. It seems like Australians don’t have that problem...

1993, the historic year in MLS...

Logic haver, history chronicler, tire store owner, and former US Soccer Federation potential presidential candidate Paul Lapointe has an... intriguing twitter feed in case you have never had a look at it. He took to the platform during the week to say that in 25 years, no one has ever told him that they love MLS - sad. This sounds like it could have the makings of a good romantic comedy - always an MLS, never a La Liga - I think it needs work, but there’s something there for sure. I just want to tell Paul that I have loved MLS since 1993.

Here’s your goals...

What can I say, I’m a sucker for a heel flick...

You should...

WATCH THE WORLD CUP, I got nothing else.