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2019 Women’s World Cup: best goals of the group stage

As the French say: BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT!

USA v Thailand: Group F - 2019 FIFA Women’s World Cup France Photo by Robert Cianflone/Getty Images

There have been so many goals scored in the World Cup that my calculator broke when I tried to add them all up, my ole TI-83 had a good run though. After breaking out my abacus I determined that entire boatload of goals found the net in France so far - 106 to be exact. Here’s all of them (not really, here are about 18).

We start things off with Sweden.

Wait for it...

As we all know, soccer is a simple game. XI players kick a ball for 90 minutes and Germany wins.

Yes, if you force a turnover and score a goal you scored one of the best goal in the group stage - Bonansea would grab the 95th minute game winner also and get Italy three points against contenders if they stop the embarrassing turnovers Australia.

Come for the goal on a one timer, stay for the after party.

Alex, why are you celebrating, you only just tied the record for most goals scored in a match in a World Cup with a total rocket fired into the upper corner? This has been a message from the goal celebration police and the office of sheriff party-pooper.

Turnover. Counter. Rounded keeper.

In case you are wondering, Sam Kerr is so good that her movement scored this goal - it’s as if her very spirit guided the ball into the net...

How would Japan come back after being shutout by minnows Argentina? By trying to send their shots soaring across the Pyrenees.

The Netherlands want to make some noise in this competition - their fans certainly did that - if they can keep putting together lightning quick scores like this they can go far.

Fox might call this a “consolation goal,” but since they pay such close attention to the deeper stories around the teams and players and countries in the World Cup that description somehow missed the real story behind it.

Julie Ertz may have put her health at significant risk putting herself as close as she did between Carli Lloyd and the ball that she was determined to rip a hole through space and time itself to put into the back of the net.

This one gets on the list for also winning the best assist of the group stage category.

Here’s Brazilian legend Marta becoming the top goal scorer in World Cup history. Brazil got through the group stage so she’ll get a chance to add to her mark against France.

Huge moment here for Jamaica as they score the first goal in the World Cup for their women’s team... and exposes Australia as massive frauds with huge problems in defense in the process.

England is looking to step up after a good showing in 2015 - Ellen White is going to be a big part of seeing how far they can go.

Argentina made waves with their defense, but when they had to score they did. Scotland proved that 3-0 is actually the worst lead in sports as the Albiceleste came storming back to win a draw. This goal to pull them within one was fantastic from Florencia Bonsegundo - she’d also get the equalizer on a penalty to put Scotland out of the tournament.

If you listen closely when Njoya Ajara puts Ria Percival on the ground, you can actually hear New Zealand sink into the ocean when the ball hits the back of the net and put Cameroon through to the second round.

Own Goal? VAR? WRONG, NOTHING CAN STOP TOBIN HEATH.

All right, that’s been a lot of goals - let’s hope the ball finds the onion bag as the excitement continues in France going into the elimination games.