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New USWNT merchandise: wanna fight?

Carli Lloyd was just kidding about that fight...or was she.

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You’re in the discovery phase of your team’s equal pay lawsuit against US Soccer. USSF’s lawyer is trying to bait you into admitting that men and women play different games because men are stronger and faster. You have multiple World Cup trophies and Olympic medals, but you’re fresh out of F’s. What to do?

If you’re Carli Lloyd, offer to fight - sorry, play a physically contentious game to get the lawyer to shut up. Add a “just kidding” but leave everyone with the sense that maybe you weren’t kidding, because you notoriously don’t have a ton of chill. Then because you phrased it like a Georgian-era lady demanding satisfaction with swords or pistols, you put the turn of phrase on a shirt through the merchandise deal your players association struck so that you’d get a fair cut of anything that licensed your name or image.

We look forward to the upcoming Lin-Manuel Miranda musical about the whole affair.

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