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Every USMNT player moves to MLS, Jurgen Klinsmann explodes

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Many of the United States' best players have already left Europe for MLS. It started with Clint Dempsey, then Michael Bradley followed. In the last six months, Jermaine Jones, Jozy Altidore, Mix Diskerud and Brek Shea all joined them.

Jurgen Klinsmann, who has said that he prefers plays be in Europe where they push themselves more and find themselves confronted by more challenges, hasn't been especially happy about it.

He really won't be happy now: MLS has agreed to a deal with the Universal Soccer Lord (Zlatan Ibrahimovic) to sign every other American national teamer. They are all ditching Europe for the domestic league and making the U.S. an MLS exclusive team.

According to multiple reports, Klinsmann responded to this news by slamming his head on his desk, muttering quietly to himself, yelling "noooooooooo" and then spontaneously combusting.

Transfer deadline day has claimed another victim. This time it was the U.S. manager.

We are working to confirm reports that Jack Daniels will be the new U.S. coach.